| | She has suddenly started using "mommy" and "daddy" instead of her usual "mama" and "dada." My heart does flip-flops every time I hear those words, torn between loving my name said with such baby tenderness while cringing that she is already, already, letting go of the baby talk. She is growing so much faster than the other two ever did, spurred on by wanting so much to follow in their footsteps, to walk the places they walk and play the things they play. As much as I want to keep her cuddled on my lap with her chubby and dimpled hands clutching at my shirt, she wants DOWN, wants the freedom to explore and play and do things that she shouldn't. There is no stopping her and she knows it. At nearly eighteen months, I am dragging my heels in an attempt to keep her as my baby. I don't want to discipline her or allow Josh to do the job because I can't stand to hear her cry. In the past, by this age, we have allowed the use of a pacifier in bed only yet Addie gets hers whenever she asks for it. I have fleeting thoughts of introducing her to the potty but the thought of no more diapers makes me want to dissolve into a puddle of tears. We talk about taking a family vacation next year because it will be so much easier since she'll be almost three and I nearly swoon at the thought. This time last year she was a tiny, tiny baby just beginning to interact with us and now she screams in defiance, has hair that curls to her shoulders, answers my questions, follows directions, plays independently, wants to buckle her highchair straps and use a fork, gets mad at other babies and tries to put them in a headlock (no lie), asks for cookies, uses three-word sentences, dips french fries in ketchup, blows kisses, says "I want...," tells her siblings NO!, gets up on the couch to read a book, wants to wear "fee-faws" (flip-flops) like her sister, has a fierce love for her brother, bites in anger, climbs on nearly everything, still won't sit down in the bath, squeals when she sees a bug, loves blueberries, crosses her arms, tells me when she needs a diaper change, loves to flush the toilet, watches TV for small periods of time, screams "DADDY!" when he walks in the door every evening, wants to go "ow-sigh" (outside), loves her doggie, asks to nurse, says "pee" (please) when prompted and often "nay-oo" (thank you) when not prompted, and is still, thankfully, very much her mama's girl. What a long, long way we have come in a year and, oh the heartbreak, when I imagine the changes that will happen by this time next year! I'm trying my hardest to hang on to my baby, my last sweet baby. And she is trying her hardest to grow up. I wonder who will win? Sigh. I know who will win. It won't be me. |
